But I think I might be obsessed with rings. I’m constantly looking for the perfect ring, one that can be worn everyday without worrying that I’ll break it or wreck it or LOSE it. (Note: My quest for the perfect ring doesn’t include my engagement ring – that’s dang-near perfect.) Maybe it’s because I tend not to make rings myself, but I’m fascinated by what other artists can do.

So today, rather than point out all the senseless, tacky, unwearable jewelry I find, I present a list of my current Etsy favorites.

In no particular order:

1. Wild Rose Twig Ring.

This is lovely and natural, and it looks sturdy without looking bulky. This is from Marcus Berkner Jewelry.

2. Yet to Discover

This is also lovely. It reminds me of a band my friend Leah wears. I’ve seen it described as an Alaskan Wedding Band, but I can’t find one that a) fits my price range or b) is exactly what I want. Except Leah’s. I really like that one. I doubt she’ll part with it.

3. Poesy Ring by Kathryn Riechert

These are so cute. And customizable. And now I can’t think of what I’d want to say on one. But they’re ADORABLE. Would make a very good wedding band, I think.

4. Cute as a button, indeed. This dainty ring from Misty Dawn Designs fits many of my criteria, here (especially price. I can’t believe she’s only charging $11 for this). It’s meant to stack, and she has a good half-dozen other designs to go with it.

5. Inverted Pink Pearl Ring.

This is fantastic. I might be afraid I’d break off the pearl, but other images of it show the pearl is pretty well mounted in there. It’s sleek, it’s classy, and it’d suit you well in a bar fight.

And now, I believe I should be working.

• It’s confusing and somewhat painful.
• It makes absolutely no sense, design-wise.
• It makes me want to scream, “What in the holy hell were you THINKING??”
• It makes me want to run far away from it, fast.

Have a happy 4th of July.

I found an article detailing some of the world’s most expensive rings, at least at the time of the post. In addition to one that went for about $600,000, I found that celebrities are all about the yellow fancy diamonds (or is that fancy yellow diamonds?). But they also just like color and spending money. From the blog, engagement101mag, at wordpress:

Soccer star David Beckham kicked a goal into the heart of wife and former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham with an appropriately posh pink diamond ring. Are you thinking pink, too? Check out this Secret Kiss of the Rose Ring from De Beers. The piece features 4.15-carat rose-cut white diamonds and a 0.8-carat pink diamond, set in platinum. Just try not to turn pink from the price: $525,000.

Now, maybe I’m old-fashioned, but is that really the imprint you want to leave on a guy’s forehead, in a bar fight? I don’t think so.

(Many thanks to engagement101mag.blogspot… I didn’t ask before I stole the above text, so I’m hoping that “thank you” and “I promoted your blog!” will suffice.)

is it the weevil?

or is it what appears to be jar-jar binks wearing a sassy easter hat?

i just don’t think i can choose.  lalaounis, you leave me speechless.

By contrast, I make what everyone else makes. Not intentionally, but it’s just how it works out. Everything’s been done before. I have a pretty good eye for color, and I do like putting different stones together. But overall, my work is wildly unoriginal.

The thing is, I like when  people like my work. It’s just so hard to get noticed when you do the same thing everyone else does. I just did a search for “jewelry” on etsy.com. There were 39,330 results.

I need fresh ideas. Fresh techniques that nobody else has. Something to set my work apart from the millions of other crafters who make the same damned thing that I do. And frankly, I’d back out of the show I’m scheduled to do in April, except that I’m sharing a table with someone else and I don’t want to stick her for my half of the table fees. I know at least 4 other jewelry people who’ll be at that show. Hell, I’m sharing a table with one of them.

I’m sure, if you’re reading this, that you came for an ugly piece of jewelry and some snarky commentary. Right now, I don’t have it in me. If you have any ideas for me, I’d love to hear them.

::sigh::

Under the classification “cocktail rings” is this monstrosity that closely resembles a bloodshot eyeball with a diamond pupil.  This particular eyeball has been stranded on a beach just before a hurricane, afflicted with a bizarre muscle paralysis that restricts it from blinking, even while mounds of sand are flying into it at breakneck speeds.

Neighborhood poll: What cocktail goes best with this ring?

I’m just so glad Mister Peanut seems to have found supplementary work as a jeweler. Whew! He’s gotta keep himself in monacles and spats SOMEhow.

(This is a ring. Perhaps his sense of proportion is a little off…)

On a similar note, on my quest for bad jewelry today, I stumbled upon some promise rings. Now, to me, a ”promise ring” is what a high-school boy gives to his sweetheart as a token of his love, and as a placeholder for when he graduates from radiator repair school, and she makes part-time assistant manager at the Thrifty Mart. Usually, it’s an unassuming ring with a tiny stone (sometimes real, sometimes not), set to make it look about twice as large as it really is. Don’t get me wrong: He had to save ALL of his income from his weekend job, and that’s impressive. It’s a symbol that says, “we can’t yet, but we WILL, and in the meantime, the very presence of it will drive our parents CRAZY.” It’s romantic, and it’s sweet.

Imagine my shock and surprise when I found out that in addition to a multitude of reasons, there are also FAR more styles available than I had ever imagined. An explanation, from a favorite website (faycullen.com, who has some really lovely stuff):

Promise Ringsare exchanged for a variety of reasons, whether mounted with a Diamond, Sapphire, Emerald or Ruby. Pre-engagement Promise Rings with an Amethyst, Garnet, Citrine, Opal, Moonstone, Zircon, Tourmaline, Topaz or Aquamarine are given without an official commitment while Purity Promise Rings symbolize a promise to remain chaste. In some European cultures, it was customary for a parent to give a Purity Promise Ring to a child symbolizing the child’s promise to remain pure until marriage.  Friendship Promise Rings signify a genuine commitment to friendship, while Religious Promise Rings indicate a lifetime commitment worn by the believers of a particular faith.

Do what now? Topaz means nothing? I don’t know if I can keep all of that straight, frankly. And while I’m beating the drum of “it doesn’t matter what the stone is, if it’s from the heart, it can be a promise ring,” I have to say that the ones I found are overwhelmingly NOT promise rings.

Promise ring:  

Ring that says “I promise I’m really loaded but I fear commitment, so here’s a 3/4-carat diamond anyway”:

“I promise to love you all the while we’re in Vegas. Is that a $1.99 shrimp cocktail??”

“I promise to have your back in a bar fight.”

 ”We met on a Swingin’ Senior Singles Cruise when you broke your hip trying to fetch my teeth when they flew out of my mouth during the shuffleboard tournament. Don’t you think it’s a little late in life for a promise ring?”

My diatribe on promise rings must come to a close. Alas, work calls. Besides, I promised someone I’d get back to her within the half-hour. Maybe I’ll just get her a ring instead… do you know where I can get a ring that evokes, “I promise I might look at your 6-page memorandum filled with doublespeak and jargon if you promise to bring me Excedrin and a mojito.”

I think I’d like that ring.